|Posted on August 26, 2013 at 1:15 PM||comments (0)|
Monday hassling you again? Come on, get back in there and knock it out with...
Wind up and take a swing at the start of another workweek with D. the Deejay, Zacharey Hollingshead, Brandi Shade, Garrett Williams, and Tom Schalk, with brief guest appearances by April Hollingshead, John Waynick, and Mark Stantz. We'll be taking a bite out of boredom by rabbit-punching a plethora of topics, such as Red Baron pizza, meat tenderizing your husband, the dancing, head lice, cans of milf, snakes and geckos, becoming Krillin, glitchy games, Fable 8, military surplus trucks, Diablo versus WoW, auto detailing with Zach, mounted microwaves, using this podcast as some kind of endurance challenge, building your own computer, exciting boringness, GeoCities, being approached by Microsoft, kneading the dough, anti-jokes, Twelfth Doctor, crackpot fan theories, Nietzsche’s Greatest Hits, breaking lunchbox news, dubstepping Ted, HWAT, stwerked animals, cultured beef burgers, carnitaurus and other dinosaurs (like Earl, Charlene and the Baby), depressing endings to 90s sitcoms, Game of Thrones versus A Game Of Thrones, Cerseipher Walken, how having ADHD affects one’s ability to read, Dollhouse and Firefly, Muppets sequels, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and its sequels, Dragonball Z Abridged, Firefly online, being distantly related to Lucille Ball, Barbara St-something, mud, and Yoda coming on to Optimus Prime. Also, introducing Rotten Tomatoes: The Home Game!
Before the bell rings and you go up against the heavyweight champ that is Monday, spar for a minute with these credits:
Lace up your gloves and TKO any of the following three formats:
Let's get ready to (g)rumble!
|Posted on August 19, 2013 at 10:40 AM||comments (0)|
Already sick of Monday? 10-4 on that! Let's ride out with...
Breaker, breaker - it's D. the Deejay, barrelling down the pike with Garrett the Ferret, Shady Brandi, Johnny "Warthog" Waynick, and Good Buddy Aedylon. We'll be passing a multitude of interesting sights, including open-source woowoowoo, You Can’t Do That On Television, Aedylon sounding like Butthead, Galaga versus Macross, the plight of the North American craburrito, space Nazis, Garrett & Garrett Go To Taco Bell, waffles being ruined, InuYasha, movies with “2000” in the title, Aedylon’s nuts, Japanese Export (again), what John wants from happy, throwing a shoe at Aedylon, Garrett’s nipple being an attention whore, KoRn’s new album, crappyapp, (f)utilities, multiplying Garretts, twerking it, merging of universes, getting one’s “flight column” stuck in the air conditioner, going back to university and other plans for the future, The Ice Brandi Cometh, multiple varieties of strip clubs, a nice cup of warm twerk, Wiki Deli, Spatula City, Macross: Do You Remember Love, anime licensing and decline in craftsmanship, Choose Your Own Adventure books, orientaltwerk.com, getting Lasik for purposes of lab work, lists of “top 50 blah blah blah”, charades, surfing/twerking bird, dyselxia, army-related jobs, the Fayetteville flies, defecating in chartreuse, intensive Swahili programs, pressing the seat eject button, explosions of monitors, splitters, making fun of crying children, blueberry chicken, condiment wars, Michaelangelo’s Pizza Taste Test Challenge, Aedylon looking like Anjin-san from Shogun, suburban wildlife, the Ninja Gaiden series, getting a free meal at a Japanese teppanyaki steakhouse, traffic cops, marihoochie, truncating silence (or “toon-caking salad”, alternately), how to bumble your way through podcasting, Smart cars looking like gumdrops, buying sexy manatees, i c wut u did thar, e-cloves, Canadian climate, payment in beer, hearing balls, exit 69 to Johnson, the difference between “rape” and “fire”, paparazzi, work-related boobies, getting up in Brandi’s ass, and the latest air-type Pokemon.
Before we get underway, you really ought to visit this rest stop and browse through some credits in the vending machine:
Hitch up your rig to any of the following three trailers:
Looks like we got us a convoy!
|Posted on August 12, 2013 at 1:20 PM||comments (0)|
Make it so, ensign! We're flying headlong into a celestial storm of...
EPISODE XV - Schalkolate Milkschalk
On this journey into the unwelcome, we follow Captain D. the Deejay as he plots a course throught he ADHD Galaxy with First Mate Tom Schalk, Lieutenant Garrett Williams, and the ill-fated red-shirts Brandi Shade and John Waynick. They will encounter strange new topics and uncomfortable subject matter, such as additions to Google Hangouts, cake or death, Blendshow: the werewolf alpha, voice acting in your underwear - or completely nude, Frank Welker, the apparent sounds giraffes make, foxes hunting birds, German madmen harnessing the power of flight, HWAT, getting back to twerk, Snooperstitious Direwolf, Westboro Baptist Church, campaign promises about bouncy castles, Captain Kirk and his very special left hand, circumcision, “Also Sprach Zarathustra” being used inappropriately, Mrs. Butterworth versus Aunt Jemima, why none of us has a girlfriend, audio tap-dancing, somewhat lucid dreaming, George being the same thing as Jimmy, the future game show known as “Japanese Export” we are developing, attempting Zim, the ballad of Mark Stantz, Twinkies and the Hostess Thrift Store, Teddy Pendergrass, sex with giraffes, the Lex Luthor Burger versus the M. Bison Burger, Street Fighter II: The Anime, highbrow humor, farting (see how those are right next to each other?), writing books so they don’t go as badly wrong as “Casual Vacancy”, Schwarzenegger’s vagina, creating alcohol from your own urine, the overwhelming number of options on the internet, Twitter’s dildo, John getting cut off at the pizza bar, Build-A-Bear Workshop, Bear Nuts (a webcomic that somehow has nothing to do with testicles), John’s serial nudity, wishing for a penis (again), Tom finding out he’s gay after a trip to the restroom, the last hair, making your neighbors deaf, the contents of a bedroom drawer, RedTube, purple peninsulas on Mars, “Manah Manah”, Liam Neeson, The Godfather being overrated, and Marx Brothers movies.
Please study this abridged Starfleet manual before your first away mission:
You can beam to any of the following three coordinates:
|Posted on August 5, 2013 at 1:50 PM||comments (0)|
Weathering the dreaded Monday Hangover? Get ready to fight it off with...
While miss Kitty Pryde lays down some gentle somnambulistic beats, pull the thick quilt over yourself that's made up of D. the Deejay, Garrett Williams, Brandi Shade, Tom Schalk, and a super-drunk John Waynick as they examine such semi-confrontational concepts as having a Walkenfrog in your throat, video cards, Clint Eastpants, naming your children after anime, frothy mugs of water, adult cereal boxes, a pissing contest of hourly usage on Steam, what a tchotchke is, business cards, voicing Disney characters, getting Garrett laid, bison being the meat of the future, checking one’s leghair, mimosas and other liquor, being your own prostitute, fox-watching, more technical difficulties (one day we will get this right, I swear!), Max Headroom, the impending Episode Zero, Firefly and other Whedonness, Christopher Walkenwolf, sneaking into other people’s houses, Good Mythical Morning AKA Rhett & Link’s Excellent Adventure With Ayn Rand, Three Stooges impressions, NoisehairCast, nudism at its worst, The Flaming Drunkard, the difference between chai and soy, someone slipping crack into John’s alcohol, popper stoppers, being in a podcast with David Bowie, rim-job versus rim-shot, coffee after midnight, addiction to fanfiction, squeezing the ferret to get your money back, mounting John, mapmaking and its many trials, me being a “homey D”, deviantArt, attribution of alcohol consumption, how to improve one’s speaking voice, “come have sex with me”, this one time at band camp, Brandi trying to fix Garrett up with her skanky friends, getting a pineapple stuck up your ass, sleeping with cats, McDiving, Jack FM, de declawing debate, autotuning vulpines, a cold and delicious bottle of hand sanitizer, taking a screenshot on the Nexus tablet, and using the phone icon to change the volume on your space heater.
Be sure to weave the appropriate hand signs to defeat these intimidating credits:
Very quietly select which of these three formats you need, and FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T SLAM THE DOOR:
There, it has been delivered. Now SHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
|Posted on July 29, 2013 at 12:50 AM||comments (0)|
[NOTICE: I have created a new Wordpress blog specifically for ADHDcast - which has an RSS feed capable of being subscribed to! You should totally do that! It can be found right HERE, but I will still post to the site blog with podcast updates.]
Tired from a busy day of going on secret missions, slaughtering the innocent and/or just playing your way through a long-ass RPG? Never fear, my shinobi friend! Blance your chakra with...
Pull up a tatami (once our host is through gushing about the Anamanaguchi show), and chill out with D. the Deejay, Garrett Williams, John Waynick, Brandi Shade, and Tom Schalk as they meditate upon the tenets of: maps of the uh area uh duh yeah, heavy drinking, spitting or swallowing (Kool-Aid, obviously), perspective in Brandivision, guessing Tom’s age, John’s dirty little secret of being a Copy Ninja of the bedroom, bongiorno, what they say about women with big hands, Shade versus the fly, babies doing the electric slide, being constipated by a webcam, Earl Grey, where your hole is, Naruto Shippuden, Shaman King and various other anime/manga, light novels, The Whimsy of Haruhi Suzumiya, acting like a white boy, bursting out in song, Sinead O’Connor’s legacy, topless Alanis Morissette, lighting off virtual fireworks, updates on Mr. Mark Stantz, fish tacos, King’s Hawaiian rolls and other picnic food, men’s facial fashion, having an orgy (or a dinosaur), having an Orgy (the band) and other ancient music, who may or may not have impeccable handwriting, caning the children, Penn and Teller’s “Fool Us”, Boston accents, the many Dungeons & Dragons movies and their varying quality, my budding career as a director unbeknownst to me, Garrett the Garden Gnome, marrying off your pet fox, interfaces and technical difficulties, spicy fireworks, lip mis-reading, Beats by Dre and other less-expensive-and-equally-good headphones, love and marriage, sports talk, my head looking like a beer gut, plans for studio space, being “too nerdy”, Sabrina the skunk, console versus PC gaming, and... that’s it?
Be sure to weave the appropriate hand signs to defeat these intimidating credits:
Choose which format you need wisely, as the other two may be shadow doppelgängers:
And this is the end of this post, because ninja strike hard and fade away... without trace! *BAMF* <-borrowed from Nightcrawler, we'll return it, we swear
|Posted on July 22, 2013 at 1:45 PM||comments (0)|
Great. Much though you have been dreading it, time has come to slap y'all with yet another...
EPISODE XII - Ataris, Legos and Bagels, Oh My!
Let your spine be tingled by D. the Deejay, Garrett Williams, John Waynick, Brandi Shade, and Aedylon Issyrol taking time out of their not-so-busy schedules to record their awful discussions about the Ballad of Chicken Nugget, John doing cartwheels, muffin stumps, Nelson Mandela, Nightwing: Earth One, crowdfunding away your old van, Man Of Steel versus Snuffaluffagus, Star Trek: Into Brightness?, Doctor Who: the early years, lost episodes of Animaniacs, Canadians, Elvis eating Nelson Mandela while he’s living inside a waffle (Nelson, not Elvis), the Nexus 7 tablet, a girl with a Lego leg, illegal peas, Rocko the wallabe falling into cleavage, reclaiming land, Xbox One again, which gamepad/controller had the best design, Windows 8, what you get from the Navy, new versus old comic book movies, the villains of Smallville, fashion in Logan’s Run, the youngest female Arab doctor in Qatar, forgetting your mother’s birthdate, how TV volume increases with one’s age, the dilemma of leaving to use the bathroom while at the cinema, singing the Ducktales theme in multiple languages, the plethora of WB cartoons in the early 90s, something to the effect of Doug, mac ‘n’ cheese, the transference of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles copyrights, bagel dispensers, sexy Post-It notes, chickens wielding swords, bloatware, the Holy Way of YouTube, Tom Jane being the most awesome Punisher ever, Ron Perlman being the ONLY Hellboy ever, Keaton versus Conroy, the 30-year anniversary of the dumping of truckloads of Atari E.T. cartridges, apps, and Aedylon with sports!
Before we give up the ghost, let's roll out the cred carpet:
It's your funeral, so you have a choice of these three luxurious caskets:
And we're done here. Unfortunately, there will likely be another one next Monday, so let that be a black cloud on your horizons over the coming week. Later! ~D.
|Posted on July 15, 2013 at 2:00 PM||comments (0)|
What's that? You haven't fulfilled your daily requirement of inane conversations? Never fear! Doctor Deejay is here with a prescription for...
EPISODE XI - Drowning Your Cellphone
Turn your head and cough while you await D. the Deejay, John Waynick, Mark Stantz, and newcomer Zacharey Hollingshead examining today's test results of being that weird part of YouTube, the woman in red heels on Arrow, warp sex, Oz: The Great and Powerful, mispronouncing Chi-pot-le, sexual exploration with a chicken, shaving your head in your sleep, the plight of the black rhinoceros, Saved By The Bell in 3D, the art of podcasting, Band-Aids, Mark’s imploding laptop interfering with both writing and podcasting (but he saves the world anyway), The Hangover trilogy, my excuse for not having read/watched “that popular thing”, forcing your local library to carry Conan the Barbarian books, the new live-action Archie movie and other changes in the Archie universe, the best kind of leaf, artists comparing the size of their “brushes”, the movie “Mama”, trying to buy a shirt from TeeFury, crazy fish-head ladies, trying to put Condom Sense on Dixon, flipping your wig on the phone salesman, the untold horrors of Jane (Missouri), building computers, good companions versus bad companions (on Doctor Who), classic cars versus bicycles, experimenting with/on new technology, using fashion accessories for purposes of torture, high school plans of world domination, sensitive nipples, and feeding snakes!
Before we let you check yourself out, we'll need you to sign these release forms:
Our show is distributed in capsules, gelcaps, and liquid formats:
Take one of those and call me in the morning. If symptoms persist, don't worry; you can get it refilled next week. ~D.
|Posted on July 8, 2013 at 1:40 PM||comments (0)|
Break out the streamers (and the strippers), pick up a keg, call your parents and lie that you're staying over at your most responsible friend's house! Time to party down with...
EPISODE X - Birthday Secks
Between "pin the tail on the donkey" and trying to get That One Dude to stop wearing a lampshade, hear D. the Deejay converse with Brandi Shade, Mark Stantz, John Waynick and Garrett Will-yums about all manner of things, including but not limited to birthday sex (duh), selling cars to Nigerian princes, waterproof phones, Super Olive Bros., the gravitational pull of Shade’s mother’s “donk”, Russian Leprechauns, playing basketball in the kitchen, wishing for a sex change, ramen with chocolate chips, John’s date night with Zach, the dangers of masturbating with leprosy, Daft Punk’s new album, lesbians with guns, losing your pants, keeping up with the Kardashians (or not), baked potatoes, penistrees, the one cool moment in D.’s history, strawberry birthday cigars, your horoscope for today (or your birthdate), Brandi trying to pronounce hard words, being the Great Goblin, marking one’s territory, Narnia, Babybel cheese, a flock of Peters, racism in Dunkin Donuts, getting pregnant with a jelly bean, dissecting “Libertarian”, biting in very unfortunate places, Alienware, the soundtracks of the Ninja Turtles movies, breaking into Livejournal and/or Myspace, and the fate of The Shadow. Also, Mark takes the helm for the first (and only?) time, as well as Story Hour With Shade!
Before crawling into the bathtub for a few precious hours of sleep, let's clean up all the credits:
Our show is being broadcast in three highly-intoxicated formats:
ADHDcast Episode 10 Zip files: (mp3) (m4a) (ogg) ... and (one long mp3)
That's it! I'm calling a cab, and you'd better not let me drive home! ~D.
|Posted on July 1, 2013 at 1:30 PM||comments (0)|
Hungry? Get ready for a huge sloppy mouthful of...
EPISODE IX - Wearing A Snowshovel
Tuck the tablecloth into your collar like a complete slob and hear John Waynick and Garrett Williams once again join D. the Deejay in examing the merits and failings of chicken, fish and Five Guys burgers and fries, killing gays in Uganda, Man Of Steel and its similarities to Dragonball Z, being underwater, having soda in your pants, microphone envy, getting Hamsterdance stuck in your brain, Gambit and Fosters, suspending listening of podcasts due to spoilers for recent movies, Beats by Dre, doing a Nine Inch Nails cover album in the “lounge lizard style”, DCUO v Rift, Ready Player One and my nauseating love of it, Super Crate Box, a virtual theme park built for two, ICQ (remember that? No?), Creezley and what it may perhaps be, Real Genius references, David Bowie cloning John, the Angry Video Game Nerd Movie (again), wearing a stylish snowshovel, Hunter X Hunter, and getting birthday head!
In order to fully appreciate the subtle hints of jackassery, one must season appropriately with credits:
Our menu today features three delicious formats:
And there we are - a feast for the ears! Bon appetit! ~D.
PS: Happy Canada Day to my Northern Neighbours! I didn't mention it on the podcast because it wasn't recorded on Canada Day, but rest assured I would have... though if you listen very carefully in the last 5 minutes, Garrett does reference the Canadian National Anthem ^_^
|Posted on June 24, 2013 at 2:30 PM||comments (0)|
Oh dear. Here we are again discussing everything geek on...
EPISODE VIII - Xbox Flub
On this blessed occasion, John Waynick, Brandi Shade, Garrett Williams and Mark Stantz are talking to me for some reason; toward the end, we are also joined briefly by Aedylon Issyrol for the sole purpose of being so metal that he's UNmetal. Topics include Xbox One and the many mistakes it encompasses, Kickstarter, 3D printers (again), waiting impatiently for your order from a shirt-a-day website to arrive, thrift store finds, Chick-Fil-A versus The Salvation Army, dropping sensitive electronics into beverages multiple times, Bruce Willis, solid state drives, Facebook drama, directions for commuting in Fayetteville, Arkansas (as if they would be useful to anybody), the failings of Garth Brooks, texting badly, whether or not Tom Schalk and Elsbeth are the same person, the color clear, why Maynard James Keenan needs to go back to formula, Joker Poker, awesomeness, and cars growing on trees and coming out of dispensers. Also featuring Sex Advice with Shade!
Unfortunately, to get to this dismal game we need to suffer through the pre-show credits:
And there we are! Prepare to love us! LOOOOOVE us! ~D.